Posted by: Jeffsayyes | April 15, 2010

Armondo’s v. Armando’s

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CASE NO.: 1413 RP
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Plaintiff, Jeffrey Tastes, by and through their undersigned attorney, Judy Ruminates, LLC, bring suit against Defendant Armando’s Pizzeria and states as follows:

I. Locations
There are two(2) known locations for the business. 1413 Rockaway Pkwy, Canarsie, Brooklyn, NY 11236, (718) 257-9723 and 1366 Pennsylvania Ave, Starret City, Brooklyn, NY 11239, (718) 642-8253. The Rockaway Pkwy location maintains a Facebook page at

II. Name Confusion
1. The large primary sign above the shop and the flat, sticker sign on the window of the original location at 1413 Rockaway Pkwy show the name spelled with an O at the 4th character. (See Exhibits A, B, and C)

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

2. The signs on the lower level of the 1143 Rockaway Pkwy window show the name spelled with an A at the 4th character. (See Exhibits D and E)

Exhibit D

Exhibit E

3. The Starret City location, inside a mini-mall, refrains from spelling of the pizzeria name entirely. On the window, “Pizzeria Restaurant” can be seen. (See Exhibit F)

Exhibit F

III. Decor
1. The older, Canarsie location has bar stools, old-school benches and a wall entirely covered with pictures of Brooklyn’s past. It is set with a black and red motif. (See Exhibit G)

Exhibit G

2. The Starret City location is larger. With metal chairs, mirrors, and seizure-inducing tiles and wallpaper. (See Exhibit H)

Exhibit H

IV. Legend
1. Promotional item used in place of a menu at the Canarsie location states “Home of the Best Sicilian Pizza” and “Brooklyn’s Famous“. (Exhibit I)

Exhibit I

2. Sign under the main window states “Is proud to be serving Canarsie the best pizza” (Exhibit E)
3. Sign under the main window states “1960-2002” inside the crest. This shows an end to the restaurant sometime in 2002. (Exhibit E)
4. In interview with the plaintiff’s chiropractor, it was stated “You gotta try Armondo’s in Canarsie. It’s the best Sicilian slice ever.”
5. In video with YOBABYBUBBA on, the filmmaker claims the pizza is as good as it was 25 years ago.

V. Taste Observations
1. Canarsie
(i) Sicilian
Better than a neighborhood slice. Slightly spicy sauce. Nice depth to the slice. Lots of character in the dough. Plentiful amount of cheese on top. Dough is tastier than cardboard. In competition with L&B, but it won’t beat it. (See Exhibit J, K, and L)

Exhibit J

Exhibit K

Exhibit L - An L&B Sicilian slice

(ii) Neapolitan
Heavy. Large bubbling (See Exhibit N). Fluffy and dense with small amount of light orange grease. Saucy, moreso than cheesy, but still cheesy (See Exhibits M, N, O, and R). One of the fluffiest crusts out there (See Exhibits P and R). Bottom and end crust shows uniqueness and integrity (See Exhibit Q)

Exhibit M

Exhibit N

Exhibit O

Exhibit P

Exhibit Q

Exhibit R

2. Starret City
The version they make here is more of a mall slice*. It’s larger, more cheese oriented, with blander sauce than the Canarsie location. (See Exhibit S – image may be upsetting)

* Definition of Mall Slice: Shit, but satisfying. A style of pie, and also atmosphere. There is usually plenty of seating, oftentimes abhorrent in their use of neon and pale greys.

Exhibit S

VI. Confession
1. In a phone conversation, the manager of the Canarise location admitted that the spelling on the large signs were a mistake. They never bothered to correct it.

WHEREFORE, the Plaintiff demands judgment against the Defendant for TWO MILLION DOLLARS ($2,000,000.00) plus interests and costs for Plaintiff’s Complaint.

Plaintiff demands a trial by jury.

Respectfully submitted,
Jeffrey Tastes
Roosevelt Ave
Queens, NY

Suffragette City


  1. Heh heh. Through some typing wizardry, I now seem to be pulling in a respectable salary! Armo/ando, you confessed to your crimes! Cough up the dough.

  2. seizure-inducing tiles and wallpaper. (See Exhibit H)……

    lol lol lol

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