Posted by: Jeffsayyes | December 6, 2008

Katz’s Delicatessen – New York, NY

Katz’s Delicatessen
Category: Delis
Neighborhood: Manhattan/Lower East Side
205 E Houston St
(between Avenue A & Essex St)
New York, NY 10
photo courtesy beaucolburn

Pastrami sandwich, I want to tell you I love you, I have always loved you, and before I even knew you I was destined to love you; when I die I only want to lie next to you. Forever.

I felt the height of our love at Katz’s. I have never been so blown away by a sandwich like you before. You gave me so many new flavors and feelings I never knew could come out of warm slices of meat like you. I’ve grown so much with you in the time we’ve been together. I feel like I would be a completely different person if I never met you. Every time I pass by Katz’s, I only think of you.

Something has been coming over me over the past year. I became a bit curious to what else is out there. Please do not think that you were insufficient in anything you have done for me. I utterly love you. Here is my confession: I wanted to try another sandwich and I did.

Beef tongue is a good friend of yours, I know. The man at the counter questioned me if I knew what I was doing, “It’s cold, you know.” I took a taste and even though it didn’t feel quite right, I went through with it. I thought about you the whole time I was ordering. I must have thought your name a thousand times from the time I entered to when I sat down with my surrogate family. I stopped thinking when I took my first bite. I thought it would be an unfair comparison and would show disrespect to both of you. I will not go into details, but when I finished, I looked at my plate and thought about the mistake I made.

If you never want to see me or beef tongue again I understand. Please know that I love you. You are everything and I will never be interested in another sandwich. Katz Deli Pastrami, forget that soldier you were sent to. No man will ever love you half as much as I do. I only want you.
Maybe we can mix it up with your friend matzoh ball next time? or that vixen french fries?? Only if you are there though. Look, honestly I would be happy just to watch. What do you think? I’m not that interested in hot dog but if that’s what you want, that’s fine. I love you Pastrami Sandwich.

Beyond Pastrami discussion at Chowhound
On Lines at Katz’s from Chowhound


  1. HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! this is by far one of the greatest posts ever from you!

    Katz’s should post it.

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